https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/tags/cult-experiences/Recent content in Cult Experiences on The Art of Cult RecoveryHugoen-NZMon, 21 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/21/the-big-thaw/Mon, 21 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/21/the-big-thaw/<p>My opportunity to put my experiences on paper after such a restricted life now feels like I’m experiencing a big thaw after a lifetime of icy winter’s days.</p>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/19/becoming-a-nothing./Sat, 19 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/19/becoming-a-nothing./<p>When I was five years old I was sent to Woolston School. Every morning I walked down our long driveway, turned right into Tilford Street, crossed busy Ferry Road, walked past the park and turned left at the old stone gates to the old stone school. My older brother was already ahead of me there.</p> <p>My father bought me a suitcase to carry my stuff in.</p> <p>It was, and still is a horrible case. No doubt he got it cheap not wishing to waste the lord’s money on something as minor as his daughter’s school needs. He despised human feelings and the thought of my embarrassment at such a deviation from the school norm didn’t worry him.</p>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/18/a-blot-on-the-landscape/Fri, 18 Sep 2026 10:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/18/a-blot-on-the-landscape/<p>This is a made up male figure I am using to represent my cult abusers. Of course, not all religious cult abusers are male. There are female led abusive cults too.</p> <p>I was taught that people who ‘loved god’ and went to church were ‘good’ people; that I would be safe with them! Unfortunately this is not true. In fact, religious institutions have been breeding grounds for abuse to flourish.</p>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/closed-mind/Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/closed-mind/<p>Another view of myself, representing my close mind, tightly bound around with the cult teachings; impossible to shake off.</p> <p>Just as the leaders wanted, I have almost disappeared from view as my mind is enclosed in their dangerous all subsuming doctrine.</p> <p>The colours I have used for this are deceiving however, as my real life headgear was never such beautiful colours. Black, brown or navy blue would be much more modest.</p>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/distorted-thoughts/Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/distorted-thoughts/<p>My brain was trained and forced to think in specific cult ways, as the doctrine was drummed into me. Many distortions formed inside my head as I learnt to think cult thoughts.</p> <blockquote> <p><em>The Recovering Artist.</em></p> </blockquote>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/distortions-of-hearing/Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/distortions-of-hearing/<p>What I heard was altered by my cult distorted brain, interpreted the only way I knew how through the cult teachings filter.</p> <blockquote> <p><em>The Recovering Artist.</em></p> </blockquote>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/distortions-of-sight/Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/distortions-of-sight/<p>When I looked out at the world the things I saw were seen through my cult distorted sight.</p> <p>I saw sin and wickedness everywhere.</p> <p>I wasn’t able to see reality.</p> <blockquote> <p><em>The Recovering Artist.</em></p> </blockquote>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/distortions-of-speech/Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/distortions-of-speech/<p>I spoke from my own distorted thoughts, saying only the words that fitted into the cult doctrine and rules. Cult language came out of my mouth.</p> <p>I called my fellow cult members ‘brother’ and ‘sister’. The big boss leader was addressed as Pastor. My father was a preaching ‘elder’. I attended loud prayer meetings, with crying, wailing and so called prophesy. Loud pleadings with god, trying to persuade him to do the things we wanted him to do.</p>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/education/Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/education/<p>As a cult female I could not look forward to an education.</p> <p>Girls were to be educated in home skills by their mothers, married to a cult man, and then to start another cult family to expand god’s work.</p> <p>There was no career for me, however much I loved learning.</p> <p>I loved going to school and finding out things. I was an intelligent and interested learner. I loved geography and music. I was sent for private music lessons so that I would be useful for god’s cult services where I was coerced into playing the piano. I played for almost every service for fourteen years, with never a ‘thank you’ but always told if I did something wrong.</p>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/entangled-thinking/Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/entangled-thinking/<p>I was discouraged FROM THINKING MY OWN THOUGHTS, OR EVEN FROM THINKING AT All.</p> <p>I was to submit obediently to what I was told because this is how god wanted girls and women to be.</p> <p>The story of Eve’s sin was used as a coercive tool along with the many other examples of female submission required in the Bible.</p> <p>I became incapable of thinking for myself; I didn’t even want to because I believed that I would be defying god if I acted out of his will by thinking for myself.</p>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/observing-the-world/Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/observing-the-world/<p>I observed the world through my cult trained eyes. I was ‘cultivated’ to see things a certain way, so of course that is what I saw.</p> <blockquote> <p><em>The Recovering Artist.</em></p> </blockquote>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/shut-down/Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/shut-down/<p>I had a closed mind; the result of being bullied and coerced into obedience and submission from birth until, displaying the debilitating consequences of their cult abuse, including living with P T S D, I removed myself from their influence aged 43.</p> <p>My act of leaving the cult proved my mind was already recovering when I realised I could no longer tolerate their misrepresentation of a so called god.</p> <p>I have continued to recover my wits about me and no longer view a ‘god’ as anything but a list of criteria; as diverse as the many different religions of the world.</p>https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/the-one-eyed-bigot/Wed, 16 Sep 2026 00:00:00 +0000https://theartofcultrecovery.nz/posts/2026/september/16/the-one-eyed-bigot/<p>Having been taught god’s will I developed a faith filled mindset of knowing I was now a right thinking cult woman immersed in the cult teachings which were sent from the god who I knew was never wrong!</p> <p>I had no understanding of my bigotry, my attitude or how others in the outside world saw me. I saw the outside world as sinful, selfish and on its way to destruction. I did not want any part in it.</p>